There’s a new set of 3Rs for our kids: respect, responsibility, and resilience to better prepare them for life in the real world.
Once developed, these skills let kids take charge, and let parents step back, to the benefit of all. Casting hover mothers and helicopter parents aside, Vicki Hoefle encourages a different, counter-intuitive yet much more effective approach: for parents to sit on their hands, stay on the sidelines, even if duct tape is required, so that the kids step up.
Duct Tape Parenting gives parents a new perspective on what it means to be effective, engaged parents and to enable kids to develop confidence through solving their own problems. This is not a book about the parenting strategy of the day what the author calls Post-It-Note Parenting but rather a relationship-based guide to span all ages and stages of development.
Witty, straight-shooting Hoefle addresses frustrated parents everywhere who are ready to raise confident, capable children to go out in the world.
“I am not, you know, a great believer in our style of parenting,” Jerry Seinfeld said to Jimmy Fallon on his recent Tonight Show appearance. “What I mean is you, me, anyone who has kids now, I just think we’re too into it.…when I think of the bedtime routine for my kids, it’s like this Royal-Carnation-Jubilee-Centennial of rinsing and plaque and dental appliances and the stuffed animal semicircle of emotional support…I gotta read eight different moron books. You know what my bedtime story was when I was a kid? Darkness!”
The style of parenting Seinfeld’s referring to is often called “over-parenting,” “helicopter parenting,” and now even “modern parenting.” It’s a style where parents aim for perfection in their kids’ personalities, looks, diets, talents, education, behaviors, and even their living spaces. It’s the style where, in extreme cases, parents go as far as buying a second home in the town of their child’s college in order to visit, meet with teachers, assist with paper writing, studying, and, of course, laundry.
Vicki Hoefle’s here to tell those parents to duct tape themselves to chairs. “Use as much tape as you need,” she writes “and tape as many body parts as you must to stay out, let go, stop from jumping in, sit back, keep quiet, and refrain from saving your child from discomfort.” Read full review.
Parents these days are under a great deal of pressure to be “perfect.” From psychologists to social scientists, journalists to weekend bloggers, everyone has an opinion about the do’s and don’ts for raising healthy, well-adjusted—and let’s not forget, polite—children in today’s fast-paced world. Where does this leave parents? Too often, lacking in confidence, ill equipped, and overwhelmed.
Parenting expert Vicki Hoefle makes the bold claim that it’s time for parents to get off the perfection path and get back to the real job of parenting: to grow a grown-up. In this no-nonsense parenting guide, Hoefle draws upon twenty-five years of experience with helping parents see the big picture and sidestep what she calls the “detail drama” that too often trumps everyday life with our kids. Parents learn more than just strategies; they learn a methodology that allows them to help their toddlers build a strong foundation for success in adulthood.
In her trademark, tell-it-like-it-is style, Hoefle tells parents to trust their intuition and develop an intentional strategy for meeting each child’s unique needs.
Above all, The Straight Talk on Parenting offers the confidence-boosting reminder that parenting is about practice (and a healthy dose of humor), not perfection.Download Chapter One
Very few families are perfect. But looking from the outside in, through conversations in the grocery store or clicking through social media, oftentimes it seems we are the only ones struggling with raising our kids or aligning with our spouses on parenting. The reality is that so many families struggle. Vicki Hoefle, three-time author, parenting coach, and sought-after speaker, offers a fresh, practical roadmap for achievable family―and marital―harmony and happiness.
Her strategies work for everyone: whether you have young children and are just starting the parenting journey; are beginning to experience the first challenges of raising children in the 21st century; or if you’re facing crisis, stress, or the effects of divorce. Hoefle inspires REAL families and shows them how to invest in the relationship, focus on what is important, and experience the joy of living in a healthy, loving family.